Express Lane for Non-Texting Drivers Goes Completely Unnoticed

ST. LOUIS, MISSOURI – The new express lane for drivers who refrain from texting while driving has failed to attract a single vehicle in the three months since its introduction to highways throughout the state.

In a bid to draw traffic, highway department officials completely eliminated the speed limit in the non-texting lane and installed billboard advertisements touting the benefits of driving at excessive speeds.

After no drivers chose to use the lane, officials experimented with a one text-per-mile limit in the new lane. The concession still failed to attract drivers.

Most recently, the state has partnered with Delta and American Airlines to provide triple airline miles for distances traveled using the express lane. Officials are optimistic that the airline miles promotion will gain traction when the state begins marketing the program to drivers via text message later this month.